being, living

Loneliness is Not Your Enemy

“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”

– Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper

Photo by Matthew T Rader on

We’re nearing the end of the first quarter of this semester and I still haven’t made any friends. Yeah, there are some people that I talk to here and there, but they aren’t who I would consider friends. I still have my friends from high school, and of course, my boyfriend, but we don’t see each other as often as we used to.

So, I would consider myself very lonely at this moment. Sure, I like spending some time alone, but I don’t like to spend every waking second by myself. If anything, it’s discouraging and disappointing. I feel like I’m unlikable and plain annoying. It feels like I’m trapped inside of a cage, treated as an outcast.

Everyone around me always has someone to talk to or something productive to do. What am I doing? Sitting alone, writing a blog about how lonely I am. How pathetic, right?

Well, I’m here to tell you that loneliness isn’t your enemy. Loneliness is something we all feel, it’s normal. It starts to become a problem when it’s prolonged.

But Meghan, aren’t you feeling prolonged loneliness? Why, in fact, I am. But, the main enemy is discomfort with ourselves. As you may or may not know, I practice tarot. On some of my loneliest days, my tarot has only told me one thing, accept, forgive, and get comfortable with yourself.

Within these tarot readings, there have been a few common themes. The first would be fear. When we are feeling lonely, we are fearful. We could be fearful of rejection or of the future. Either way, we have a fear rooted inside of us, driving this loneliness. This fear is something we have to overcome.

The other theme within my readings is connection. We long for connection and relationships. We’re social animals, we need connection to survive. If we don’t have these meaningful connections, then that can take a toll on our mental AND physical health.

How do we become less lonely? Well, we need to stop this fear and create meaningful connections. the first step in overcoming loneliness is to get comfortable with yourself. On Saturday, my tarot reading included a reverse twelve of fire also known as, the hero. This hero is wounded. He cannot see the good within himself and craves attention. This attention feeds an emptiness. He’s weighed down by guilt, shame, and fear. Have you been disloyal? We punish ourselves with these feelings. Instead, rescue, accept, and forgive yourself. I ask you, what are you scared of? Why are you fearful?

Another card that I drew on Saturday was reverse union. This card represents fear and need. You want to look for relationships that aren’t based around these. Create a loving relationship with yourself (and for my Christians, God) before pursuing an outside relationship. Become your own best friend!

Once your able to create a meaningful and loving relationship with yourself, you can create meaningful and loving relationships with other. It is said “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” So, fill yourself up with love before you spread that love with other people.

I hope this helped you feel empowered to pursue a meaningful relationship with yourself before pursuing relationships with others. I pray that you will get out of this season of loneliness soon. Until next time!

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Lots of love,

Meghan ❤

1 thought on “Loneliness is Not Your Enemy”

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