How to Set Christian Boundaries

“Boundaries are the lines we draw that mark off our autonomy and that of other people, that protect our privacy and that of others. Boundaries allow for intimate connection without dissolving or losing one’s sense of self.”

– Amy Bloom

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Boundaries are super important for the physical, mental, and spiritual well being of all of us, but sometimes it’s difficult to determine our own boundaries. After going to school and learning about the policies for sexual assault and other various crimes in the college, I wanted to explore what the bible says our boundaries should be and how we should set boundaries in a biblical way.

I first want to touch on what the bible says about our autonomy. Autonomy is the right to govern ourselves; the right to direct ourselves and decide what is moral to us. In the letter of James, it says “Above all my beloved, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your ‘Yes’ be yes and your ‘No’ be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation” (James 5:12 NSRV).

This verse is important because in Genesis 3, God gave us the choice to seize our own autonomy which, through the forbidden fruit, we did. So, because we did that, we have morals that we decided for ourselves. With this autonomy, we have the choice to say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ James 5:12 states that ‘yes’ means yes and ‘no’ means no and our decision of yes or no should be respected by those around us. We have the autonomy to set our own boundaries and every one else should respect them.

Now, as Christians, there are some boundaries that God has set for us. For example, the ten commandments in Exodus 20. God wants us to respect and love everyone. Jesus states in Mark 12:30-31 “you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Another boundary that God set for us is to love our enemies. “‘But I say to you that listen, Love your enemies, do good to those that hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you…Do to others as you would have them do to you…'” (Luke 6:27-28, 31 NSRV).

These are the boundaries God has made for us, so that we can be holy in His eyes. It is important to open up your heart to love and to make room in your heart for those who have a heart full of hate, but when dealing with people who do bad against us, it’s hard to remember that we have worth.

One of Jesus’s teachings involve standing up for oneself using the Holy Spirit. For, some people will tear you down and try to make you feel worthless, but He said “But even the hairs of your head are all counted. Do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows” (Luke 12:7 NSRV). God has counted all the hairs on your head and shows you everlasting love. So, know your worth in the eyes of the Lord, for you are priceless.

God has given us autonomy and we have the right to set boundaries for ourselves. We should love the Lord and His Son with everything we have, but we should also open our hearts to everyone, including those who only show us hate. Although this can be difficult, the Holy Spirit guides us and shows us our worth in God’s love.

So, be sure to set boundaries for every relationship you have, and don’t be afraid to defend those boundaries.

Lots of love,

Meghan ❤

4 thoughts on “How to Set Christian Boundaries”

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